


you've been beside me the whole damn time

by perksofbeingabooknerd



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: AOS, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Platonic Love, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2601299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksofbeingabooknerd/pseuds/perksofbeingabooknerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ursula has always been there for Hero, and she's not about to stop now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you've been beside me the whole damn time

**Author's Note:**

> a hero/ursula friendship fic, set after the series has ended and after bea leaves to begin her year of traveling
> 
> trigger warnings: mentions of anxiety and depression
> 
> title is taken from (i assume?) agents of shield, i don't actually watch it, oops.

Hero couldn't remember a time when Ursula wasn't in her life. When it wasn't just her and Bea, or her and Claudio, Ursula was always just there, lingering in the background or simply listening to someone in the group talk about nothing. It wasn't that Hero had taken her for granted or didn't care if she was around or not--it was just that she hadn't needed Ursula to be there. After all, she had Beatrice. And up until Bea waved goodbye to her cousin and boarded the plane to take her far far away from Auckland, Hero thought she would be okay. Okay without Beatrice there. And she was, for a while.

She threw herself into her studies in her last year at Messina High. She avoided Claudio, only interacting with him when necessary. She spent a lot more of her time hanging out with Ursula and Verges, and as a result developed a newfound appreciation of photography. She learned different techniques from Ursula and started taking pictures of every pretty thing she saw. And Verges taught her to play the kazoo, which Hero unexpectedly enjoyed. She also fell into the habit of baking cupcakes every time someone at school had a birthday. It didn't matter if that someone was one of the people who had gossiped about her or believed the rumors after her birthday party. She wasn't the type to hold grudges. She wanted everyone to have a wonderful birthday, even if she didn't. Especially because she didn't.

And Hero was happy this way. She finally got to move on from the horror of her birthday party. She got to move on with her life. She was okay again.

But then one day she wasn't. One day, she woke up and everything just felt _off_. She didn't know if it was because she had dreamt of Claudio or if the memories just decided to resurface.  Whatever it was, Hero was slipping again. She was sinking into that depression she had fallen into so easily last year. This thought terrified her, so she made up her mind right then and there to push it to the back of her head and pretend everything was okay. She got out of bed, put on a cute dress and a smile, and headed to Ursula's to walk to school together, as they always did.

But it didn't work. Claudio was everywhere Hero looked, and panic rose in her chest more often than it used to. Thank god Ursula never left her side, somehow sensing something had changed in Hero.

She was there when Hero had her first panic attack since the party. She was the one to sit her down, give her water, and murmur reassuring words to her until her hands stopped shaking and her breathing returned to normal. 

Ursula was there when Hero had to rush to the bathroom, ready to puke her guts out because she saw Claudio flirting with someone else. Ursula was the one to hold her hair and rub her back when she was done. 

Ursula was there when Hero awoke suddenly from nightmares, no matter what time of night or day it was. All it took was a text or a phone call, and she was at Hero's doorstep, making her tea and watching old movies with her until she calmed down.

Ursula was there when Hero couldn't breathe, when she just couldn't deal with life. She would hang out in her kitchen after school, sitting at the counter and just listening to Hero talk about everything and nothing while she stuck trays of muffins in the oven. Sometimes Hero would make just one batch. Other times she would spend hours obsessively baking cupcakes, convinced each batch was worse than the previous one. Ursula, of course, assured her that all the cupcakes tasted delicious.

And sometimes Hero would just stop and look at Ursula, really look at her. The gratitude was always there, even when she didn't come out and express it. She couldn't admit to anyone, let alone Ursula, just how relieved she was that she didn't have to be alone. Ursula made sure of that. And that's when she realized Ursula was her best friend. _Huh_ , she thought to herself. _You've been beside me the whole damn time_.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have a first-hand account of what anxiety and/or depression feels like, so i hope this account is at least a little bit similar to what it's really like. if not, let me know, and i'll try to make it more accurate in the future. thanks for reading!


End file.
